


The Emperor's Rose

by MidnightAlley



Series: The Rose Cooper Adventures [1]
Category: Disney - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Kidnapping, Magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-05-02 04:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14536365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightAlley/pseuds/MidnightAlley
Summary: I was a normal 18-year-old girl until I got sucked into a Disney movie! Now, I'm being forced to marry a spoiled emperor, and a crazy old lady wants to kill me! I hate my life.





	1. Trapped in Kuzcoland

I groaned as I came back to the world. Ugh! What happened to me! I currently was lying on a cold marble floor. I groggily sat up and realized that I was in a hallway with these red tapestries with someone's face etched in gold. Was I in some sort of fancy hotel? How did I even get here? The last thing that I remember was that I was driving to school… oh, my god, did I crash my car!

I stared down at my hands, and let out a little shriek. What the hell! I died in a car crash and became a cartoon! How was this even possible?

Suddenly, a servant girl dashed into the hallway and spotted me with a look of horror on her face.

"Oh, there you are!" she cried out

I bit my lip. Um…what?

The servant girl continued to prattle on "What are you even wearing? Those clothes are unacceptable to meet the emperor in!"

What was this crazy chick going on about? My clothes are just fine, thank you very much! I was wearing black skinny jeans, a green tank top, a grey zipped up hoody, and some dark green converses. Hang on! Did she just say something about an emperor?

Before I could question her further, the servant girl grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into this large room that had the same red and gold scheme as the hallway that I was just previously standing in. This room was filled with about ten tall girls that all looked exactly alike, wearing white dresses, and now they were all staring at me!

Seriously, they weren't even blinking. I'm officially creeped out, now!

Please, don't eat me, creepy girls, I mean you no harm.

More servant girls appeared, and they dragged me behind this dressing screen, and they made me put on this white dress, that hugged what little curves that I have. The next thing that I know the other girls and I are being paraded out of the room, and then we are forced to stand in a line on some sort of stage.

C'mon, Rose! You need to think of a way out of this mess!

At that moment the doors flew open, and a man burst into the room wearing red robes and a gold headdress with shoulder length straight black hair.

"Boom, baby!"

My jaw dropped, I was staring at Kuzco from the movie The Emperor's New Groove.

Oh, crap, I was trapped in Kuzcoland!

This short servant guy ran up to Kuzco. "Your Highness, It's time for you to choose your bride!"

Wow, this servant really is short. I'm taller than him and I'm only five two or so. You need to focus, Rose. It's time to think of an escape plan. Maybe I can throw my shoe at Kuzco's face and then make a run for it. Nah! I really don't want to get thrown out of a window.

Kuzco clapped his hands. "Alrighty! Trot out the ladies," he climbed upstairs and started to inspect all of the girls. "Let's take a look-see. Hate your hair, not likely, yikes, yikes, yikes, and let me guess you have a great personality."

Kuzco turned back to the servant guy. "Is this the best that you can do?"

The servant guy started to stutter out excuses, and Kuzco had this not amused expression on his face.

I couldn't help it, I laughed out loud "Dude, you are so fired!"

Kuzco wheeled around. "Who said that?"

Oops! That wasn't supposed to happen. I think this is my cue to leave.

I tried to make a dash for it, but I was quickly snatched by a huge guard and placed directly in front of Kuzco.

Kuzco looked amused at my failed escape, and then his eyes traveled up and down my body.

I scowled at him; this guy was starting to piss me off.

Kuzco took a strand of my wavy light brown hair and wrapped it around his finger. "Ooh, I have never seen a hair color like this before! Me Likey!" His hand traveled to my cheek, and he tilted my face upwards.

Okay, my anger levels are definitely rising.

Kuzco studied my eyes. "Hmmm, green eyes flecked with gold. Interesting."

Oh, I'm going to show him how interesting I can be. I seethed.

Kuzco whirled around to face the short servant guy, he clapped his hands together. "I'll take this one! What's her name?"

"My name is Rose Cooper, and what gives you the right to treat women like they're some sort of prize." I hissed at him.

Kuzco stared at me like I was stupid or something.

"Did you not get the memo? I'm the emperor…"

I cut him off. I so had enough of this crap! "Fine! You're the emperor, and I'm leaving so bye!"

I tried to storm off, but once again I was grabbed by a guard and this time he did not let me go. Kuzco smirked down at me. "I can tell you're a bit slow, so I'm going to say this really slowly. I'm the Emperor. So that means on the day after my birthday, which is tomorrow, you are going to get married to me! Don't you love it! It's my late birthday present to me!"

Kuzco gestured to the guard. "Now, take my new bride away."


	2. Scary Beyond all Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rose meets Yzma and Kronk.

The guards dragged me away to my new rooms, kicking and screaming out all sorts of abuse directed at Kuzco.

Yeah, I know I have little dignity.

So, once I was brought to my new room I resorted to Plan B because Plan B always works.

I thought that since the old man that Kuzco had thrown out the window could survive the fall, then I could too. I didn't even make it to the window, because the two guards stopped me from escaping again by blocking off the window.

It was as if they could read my mind… freaky.

They stared down at me with stony expressions. "You must stay here until the emperor summons you."

I snorted angrily at them "Well, you can tell His Royal Asshat to forget it!" I turned around to head straight for the door.

What can I say? I don't know when to give up. My path was once again blocked by another guard.

Where were all these guards coming from?

Geez…I am so screwed.

After I gave up, on the whole, escaping the palace thing, I decided to take a look around my room.

Wow. It's amazing how many details you can miss while trying to jump out a window. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon than to admit this to Kuzco, but this room was gorgeous!

It was a large room with huge columns on both sides of the room, red and gold tapestries hanging from the wall, a comfy red lounge chair, and of course a huge bed that had red sheets.

Why is the color scheme red and gold around here? Seriously, why?

Suddenly, three servant girls burst into the room; one of them was carrying a bundle of cloth.

"The emperor would like you to change and meet him in the throne room." Said one servant girl

They all dragged me into this room that adjoined mine.

The emperor wants that, the emperor says this, blah, blah, blah. Forget, Yzma killing Kuzco, I was considering on strangling him myself.

Once, I was behind the dressing screen, they made me change into this dress. The dress was red and sleeveless with a square neckline; it went halfway past my knees. I had a turquoise sash right underneath my bust, I also wearing gold-colored sandals. The servant girls left my hair alone leaving it to hang in loose waves just pass my shoulders.

So, to sum it all up, I was dressed to match Kuzco. I was then escorted to the throne room by the guards; there was no chance of escaping them. Some people just don't have any luck. When I got to the throne room I was met with the sight of Kuzco and… holy crap, was that Yzma? She's even uglier in person.

Yzma is definitely scary beyond reason.

At the moment, Yzma was babbling excuses to Kuzco, who looked like was in la la land. When Kuzco finally noticed that I was standing behind Yzma, his glazed expression turned into a jaw-dropping one.

I blushed. Um, Rose what are you doing? You're supposed to hate this guy, remember! The whole exchange only lasted for a second before Kuzco recovered himself, and smirked at me holding his hand out.

"Ah, here she is! My lovely new bride to be!"

Yzma whirled around to face me; she now had a surprised expression on her face.

"Your bride!" she squeaked out, "but, Your Highness! Don't you think you're a little young to get married?"

Kuzco crossed his arms and glared at Yzma "I'm the emperor! I can do whatever I want, you keep forgetting that."

Hang on, do I actually have to go over there? Oh, man this is going to be awkward. I walked over and stood next Kuzco, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me snug against him.

Oh, I'm so not going be his arm candy.

I looked up at Kuzco. "If you do not remove your arm, you will no longer have one!" I hissed at him.

Kuzco looked shocked and Yzma gasped.

"The peasant girl has threatened to harm the emperor! Guards, seize her!"

I was immediately seized by the guards again for the hundredth time today. I've had enough of the manhandling.

Kuzco has already recovered from his shock because he rolled his eyes at Yzma and snapped his fingers, I was then quickly released.

"Uh, Yzma. We've already had a talk about this; you're the emperor's advisor, not the emperor. But since you haven't gotten with the program, you're fired!"

The old hag looked surprised. "Fired? What do you mean fired!"

Ha! I've always liked this part!

Kuzco pretended to look thoughtful. "Uh, how else can I say it? You're being let go, you're department's being downsized, you're part of an outplacement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option. Take your pick. I've got more!"

Yzma stuttered. " But…I…you…uh…but Your Highness, I have been nothing if not loyal to the empire for many, many years."

"Hey, everybody hits their stride, you just hit yours fifty years ago." Said Kuzco

I snorted out loud. "Ouch, sucks to be you!"

Kuzco smirked at my comment, while Yzma glared murderously at me, sitting in Kuzco's throne.

Oh, I'm definitely going to pay for that comment later. Nice one, Rose! Good job, on keeping your mouth shut!

"So, who's in my chair?" asked Kuzco

"Oh, I know! Yzma! Yzma's in your chair, right?" Kronk said, excitedly.

Oh, look! It's Hunky! Where did he come from?

"Very good, Kronk! Now, get the snack!" Kuzco threw the snack, and Kronk leaped for it.

"I got it!"

At that point, Yzma left muttering to herself.

Okay, I think now is the time to end my engagement.

"Kuzco, listen to me! There is no way in hell that I'm going to marry you, so you can just forget it!"

There, that should do the trick.

Kuzco clapped his hands together. "Alrighty, Ruby-"

I cut him off angrily. "My name is Rose, not Ruby. If you're going to marry someone you should know what their freaking name is!"

Kuzco just continued on. "I don't why I have to break this down for you, but you're going to be the Empress. That means you get to order everyone else around, except for me of course."

I glared at him, but Kuzco just grinned at me. Kuzco sat on his throne/chair and gestured to the throne sitting right next to his. "So, come on! Why don't you stop being difficult, and sit in this chair that I had especially made for you!"

I reluctantly sat on the golden throne. "How, did this even get here?" I grumbled

"Oh, I just snapped my fingers and had it brought in. One of the many perks of being me!"

"Yippee, for you!" I said darkly.

A guard came in and announced. "Your Highness, the village leader is here to see you."

Oh, I'm about to meet Pacha! Yay! Maybe, my day will get better. Not!


	3. It's Dinnertime!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kuzco and Rose have dinner with Yzma and Kuzco gets turned into a llama.

"Oh, great! Send him in." Kuzco ordered the guard excitedly

Poor Pacha. He had no idea that Kuzco was planning on destroying his whole village.

Right on cue, Pacha walked hesitantly into the throne room. "Uh, afternoon, Your High-" Pacha faltered at seeing me sitting in a throne next to Kuzco.

He smiled apologetically at Kuzco. "Forgive me, Your Highness. I had no idea that you have taken a wife."

"Yeah, I'm sooo not his wife! I'm here against-" Kuzco interrupted me tugging on a strand of my wavy hair.

What the hell? What is it with him pulling on my hair? This is the second time, today! Seriously, what is his major malfunction?

"I'm the first one in the empire to have something like her. Aren't I special!" Kuzco crooned

I scowled at him. If Kuzco continues to treat me like some shiny new toy, I will strangle him before Yzma turns him into a llama!

Pacha looked uncomfortable and unsure of what to say next. "Congratulations. Um, I'm here because I received this summons-"

Kuzco got up from his throne. "Yeah, my main village man!" Kuzco looks at me expectantly.

Oh, great. I now have to follow him everywhere. Have I mentioned that I hate my life? I rolled my eyes at Kuzco, held my head up high as I walked over and linked my arm with his so that we can walk side by side.

"Uh, Pacha." Said Pacha sounding unsure of himself.

I smiled sweetly at Pacha. "Hello, Pacha. I'm Rose-"

Kuzco interrupted me again. "Pacha! That's right, you are just the man that I wanted to see!" He said as the three of us started to walk out of the throne room.

Pacha looked surprised. "I am?"

Kuzco smiled at him. "Word on the street is that you can fix my problem. You can fix my problem, can't you?"

I glared at Kuzco. He was only being charming so that he can get what he wants. What a douche nozzle!

"Sure, I'll do what I can." Said, Pacha

We were now in another room, in the center there was a table with a piece of cloth covering it.

"Good, that's just what I wanted to hear. Are you aware of just how important your village is to the empire?" Kuzco asked Pacha

"Well, I know we grow the crops that you use here at the palace. We also herd the llamas that you…" Pacha trailed off because Kuzco had ripped off the blanket from the table showing a representation of Pacha's village. "That's my village."

"Oh yeah. You've got a pretty sweet little setup up there on top of that hill, don't ya!" said Kuzco

"Yup, my family has lived on that hilltop for the last six generations." Agreed Pacha.

"That's really neat, Pacha," I told him acting like I didn't know this already.

Am I a good actress or what!

Pacha smiled at me. "Thank you, Your Highness."

"It's just Rose." I jerked my thumb at Kuzco. "I'm not planning on marrying this chucklehead anytime soon."

Pacha looked confused at this statement, and Kuzco looked less than pleased throughout this whole exchange.

"Uh-huh. So tell me, where do you find you get the most sun?" asked Kuzco steering the topic back to himself.

Don't do it, Pacha! Don't tell him!

Pacha points at the model. "Oh, I'd say just on the other side of those trees. When the sun hits the ridge just right, these hills sing."

Pacha, you will now see Kuzco's true motives in 4, 3, 2, 1.

"Well, that settles it."

"Really?"

"Yup, problem solved, thanks for coming."

Pacha looked puzzled. "That's it? That's all that you wanted me for?"

"I just needed an insider's opinion before I okayed this spot for my pool."

"Uh, your pool?" Pacha questioned

Kuzco slams his own model on top of the model of Pacha's house. "Boo-yah! Welcome to Kuzcotopia, my ultimate summer getaway! Complete with waterslide!"

Even, though I knew this was gonna happen. It still pisses me off, that Kuzco is so selfish at the beginning of the movie.

Pacha looked like he couldn't believe it. "What?"

"Isn't it great! It's my birthday present to me! I'm so happy!" said Kuzco while hugging the model.

Okay, my anger levels were definitely rising…again.

"I don't understand. How could this have happened?"

"Well, let me clear it up for you. At my birthday celebration tomorrow, I give the word, and your town will be destroyed to make way for this!" Kuzco pushes a button on the model and confetti shoots out of it. "So, if I were you, I'd pick up some change of address forms on the way home."

"But…um… where will we live?" Asked Pacha

Kuzco pretended to look thoughtful. "Hmmmm…don't know, don't care. How's that?"

Pacha moved angrily toward Kuzco. "You can't do that!" Pacha was immediately blocked by guards.

Kuzco got right in Pacha's face. "When I give the word, your little town thingy will be bye-bye." The guards dragged the struggling Pacha away.

"You Asshat! I don't care that you are the freaking emperor! You don't have the right to destroy Pacha's home!" I yelled angrily at Kuzco.

Kuzco raised an eyebrow at the 'asshat' comment. "Listen, sweetheart. I'm pretty sure you've had a stressful day with getting engaged to someone," he gestured to himself "this good-looking, so I think it would be a good idea for you to return your room. We'll have a nice little talk about our wedding, later."

A guard grabbed me by the arm, and Kuzco smirked at me. "So, bye-bye!" He waved me off.

Grrr. I hate being manhandled.

-0-

So, I was back in my room sitting on my new bed. I definitely wasn't pouting or crying, instead, I was plotting my escape.

I felt like a diabolical Disney villain. I have already crossed off building a catapult to break the wall down, off my list. There are not enough resources to build one. Bummer.

Suddenly, my bedroom door flew open.

"Boo-yah!" Announced Kuzco

"Oh, look! It's Emperor Kuzco." I said sarcastically

"Oh, don't look so glum, Rose! I'm here to invite you to have dinner with me."

I snorted "So, not gonna happen."

Kuzco frown and crossed his arms. "As my future bride, you are required to attend all social functions at my side. Don't make me summon the guards."

"Oh, why can't you have your servants bring you some food, so I can be left alone," I argued.

"Yzma invited us to have dinner with her and Kronk, so that means you're coming!"

My jaw dropped! Did Kuzco just say that Yzma invited 'us'? Oh, I'm so screwed. I just knew I was going to pay for that comment I made a little while ago.

"Kuzco, are you sure this is a good idea? Yzma looked really mad about being fired."

Kuzco snorted. "She probably just wants her old job back and this is her lame attempt at buttering me up. Not, likely."

I sighed. This guy was so clueless.

Kuzco clapped his hands. "So, come on! This hungry king of the world needs food, pronto!"

Oh, man! I don't want to turn into a llama!

-0-

Kuzco jerks the door open as we enter the dining room. "Boom, baby!" he says as he sits down at the table. "Let's get to the grub! I'm one hungry king of the world."

I go sit in the chair to the left of Kuzco. I'm so excited about this dinner. Not.

Kuzco looks at Yzma. "So, no hard feelings about being let go."

"None, whatsoever," she said between gritted teeth. "Kronk, go get the emperor and his bride a drink."

"Drinks, riiiiiight." Said Kronk slowly.

Kronk goes to a table at the back of the room and pours our drinks. I try to ignore the poofing sound of the potion going in. Kronk scurries back over to the table and holds out the drink tray to Kuzco and me.

"Your Highnesses."

Kuzco sniffs the air. "Is something burning?"

Kronk cries out hysterically. "My spinach puffs!" He sets the tray on the table and races away.

"Sooooo, he seems nice," Kuzco asks Yzma.

Alrighty, it's awkward conversation time! Yippee.

"He is." Answered Yzma.

"He's, what, in his late twenties."

"I'm not sure."

There was a long moment of awkward silence.

Hang, on! Shouldn't Hunky be back with the spinach puffs by now?

Yzma gestured to me. "So, how did the two of you meet?"

Kuzco shrugged his shoulders. "I picked her out of a line of ugly girls."

I balled my right hand into a fist. "That's not true! All those other girls were way prettier than me!" I spat angrily.

Kuzco leaned towards me and played with a strand of my hair. "You seemed more interesting than the other girls." He gave me an odd look.

I blushed. Well, this is new and different.

"That's an adorable story, Your Highness." Yzma choked out.

Kronk chose that moment to burst back into the room with the spinach puffs. "Saved, them!"

Kuzco sprang away from me. "Oh, that's great! Good job!"

Kronk began dishing out the spinach puffs. "Careful! They're still hot!"

The old hag coughed "Ahem. Kronk, the Emperor, and his bride need their drinks."

Oh, great. It's almost llama time. I'm going to have to be sneaky about this, I do not want to be a llama.

"Oh, riiiight." Kronk said as he remembered the 'poison.'

It was, of course, obvious to me that Kronk forgot which glasses he put the potion in. He raced back behind us with the drinks, once more.

"Hey, Kronky! Is everything alright back there?"

Once, again I pretended not to hear the poofing sounds of drinks being remixed. Seriously, Kuzco! How could you be so clueless?

"Sorry, the drinks are a bit on the warm side," Kronk called out.

Kronk came back over with the drinks. "Hey, did you see that sky today? Talk about blue."

Yzma chuckles nervously. "Yes, Kronk, how riveting." She holds up her glass. " A toast to the happy couple! May they have a long reign!"

I pretended to take a long sip from my glass, never allowing the liquid to touch my lips. Kuzco, on the other hand, drained his glass as fast as he could.

"Ah, tasty!" Kuzco falls face first onto his plate.

Now, it's time for me to play dead. I closed my eyes, and let myself fall face first onto the table. Ow! That hurt a lot more than I thought it would.

"Finally! Good work, Kronk!" I heard Yzma say

"Oh, they're easy to make. I'll get you the recipe." Said Kronk thinking that Yzma was talking about his spinach puffs.

"Now, to get rid of the bodies." Said Yzma.

I heard Kuzco sit back up. "Okay!"

Here's my cue!

I sat back up. "What did I miss?" I said playing dumb.

I looked over at Kuzco to see him turning into a llama, as he was babbling away. I knew that this was going to happen, but it was still the freakiest thing that I have ever seen. I saw Kronk hit Kuzco on the head with a plate, knocking him out. Huh, he must have finally gotten what Yzma was trying to tell him, which means…uh oh. I turned around just in time to see Yzma come at me with a water pitcher, and then it was light's out.


	4. Welcome to the Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Kuzco meet up with Pacha again. Shenanigans happen, and they get chased by jaguars.

When I opened my eyes all I could see was darkness, my entire body felt sore all over.

What in the hell happened? Oh, yeah. Yzma had knocked me out with a freaking water pitcher!

That evil bitch was so dead the next time I see her. Hang on, there's something furry touching my face. What could it possibly be! I felt around with my hands at the same I remembered that Kuzco had been turned into a llama, so that means that I'm in the bag with Kuzco! Oh man, I've got llama butt in my face!

Suddenly, I felt cool air inside the bag; Pacha must be opening the bag right now! I wish I could see what's going on, but I can't because I've got Kuzco's llama ass in my face.

Damn it.

"Where did you come from, little guy?" I heard Pacha ask.

"No, touchy." Said Kuzco sounding very out of it.

I heard a thump on the ground, as Kuzco hit the ground. Yes, freedom! I slowly climbed out of the bag, my limbs feeling very stiff. I tried to stand up on my own, but I immediately felt woozy so I sat down and leaned against the cart.

Yeah, well let's see how well you stand after getting hit in the head with a water pitcher, and then being shoved into a bag with a llama.

At the moment Pacha hasn't noticed that I'm even here, he's still freaking out about the talking llama, aka Kuzco.

"Demon llama!" Pacha yelled out

Kuzco looked confused. "Demon llama? Where?"

He turns around to see Pacha's pet llama, Misty. "Ahhhh!"

Haha! Kuzco screams like a girl! I mentally slapped myself, stop making fun of Kuzco and focus, Rose!

"Pacha? How did I get here?" I said pretending to sound confused.

Yep, I still have skills.

Pacha turned around with a surprised look on his face. "Empress Rose!"

"I'm not the empress, Pacha." I tiredly reminded him.

Pacha looked apologetic. "Oh, right. Sorry."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nah, it's okay. You're just being polite."

Pacha knelt down in front of me looking concerned. "What happened to you?"

"I don't know. I remember getting hit from behind, and then I woke up here."

I didn't completely lie. I just don't want to say the wrong thing, because otherwise, Walt Disney might come here to kick my ass.

"It's okay. I'll help you figure this out." Said Pacha.

"Thanks!" I replied.

"Yeah, can we get back to me? I'm more important!" called out Kuzco

I rolled my eyes. Pacha got up and slowly crept toward Kuzco. "Okay, demon llama. Just take it easy, I mean you no harm."

Kuzco gave him a look. "What are you talking about… oh, wait I know you. You're that whiny peasant."

I glared at Kuzco. "Yes, he's the guy whose home you're going to destroy for your own selfish reasons!"

Kuzco snorted. "Yes, I feel so terrible about it. Bad Kuzco!" he said mockingly

Pacha's eyes widened. "Emperor Kuzco!"

"Yeah, who do you think you were talking to?"

Pacha looked confused. "Um. You don't look like the emperor."

"What do you mean I don't look like the emperor?"

Okay, I think it's time to roll this along.

"Kuzco, look at your hands," I suggested

"Yeah, do this!" Pacha agreed as he waved his own hands in front of his face.

Kuzco rolled his eyes at us as he did what we told him. "What is this, some little game you country folk like…" he notices that his hands are now hooves. "Ahhhh, it can't be!"

Kuzco looks at his reflection in the water trough. "My beautiful face!"

Geez. What a diva!

Pacha tried to calm him down. "Shhh! What happened?"

Kuzco tried to stand on two legs but failed miserably when he fell. I laughed out loud.

Oh, man! That was priceless.

Kuzco glared at me. "I'm trying to figure that out. I can't remember anything. Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was and then you got mad at me. Oh! And then you turned me into a llama!" he said to Pacha.

"What!" Pacha cried out.

I stood up, feeling a little better, and then walked over to Kuzco. "Pacha didn't do this, Kuzco! It's definitely not his style."

Kuzco looked thoughtful, pondering over my words. "Hmm. You're right. That's giving him way too much credit. Okay, I have to get back to the palace. Yzma's got that 'secret lab.' I'll just snap my fingers and order her to change me back."

"Kuzco, don't you think it's possible that Yzma is the one that did this to you. I mean you said so yourself, she has that secret lab." I told him

Walt Disney can come and haunt me if he wants, I'll just have to go all exorcist on his ass.

Kuzco shook his head at me. "She wouldn't do that. I'm her favorite person."

Yup, he's so clueless.

Kuzco started to use the wooden fence to help him walk. "Hey, Tiny, Rose! I want to get out of this body! Wouldn't you? Let's go!" He called out to both Pacha and me.

Pacha crossed his arms and gave Kuzco a stern look. "Build your summer home somewhere else."

"Yeah, and I'm not returning to the palace to get married to you," I added stubbornly.

Kuzco looked shocked. "You want to run that by me again."

"I'm not going to take you back until you change your mind and build your summer home somewhere else," said Pacha.

Kuzco pulled himself away from the fence and walked over to Pacha on all fours. "Hmm, I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer." He got in Pacha's face. "I don't make deals with peasants!"

"Then I guess I can't take you back." Pacha stubbornly insisted.

"Fine! I don't need you. C'mon, Rose! We're leaving!" said Kuzco as he started to walk off toward the jungle.

"I told you, I'm not going."

"What!" Kuzco spun around and looked at me.

"I'm not going to marry you, Kuzco."

Kuzco walked over to me and got in my face as he did with Pacha. "I don't know why you're playing so hard to get, you know you find me irresistible!" he said in a very husky voice

My stomach felt like it was all tied up in knots and I blushed. Kuzco smirked at me, noticing my reaction. What was wrong with me? He's a llama and a total assbutt.

I gulped. "It's still no."

Kuzco backed off. "Fine, but as soon as I change back, I'm sending guards to drag you back to the palace."

"You do that, I'll be long gone."

Kuzco started to walk off. "Whatever, Rosie!" he said in a sing-song voice.

Grrr.

"I wouldn't go if I were you!" said Pacha speaking up.

"I'm not listening!" called out Kuzco

"I mean it! There are jaguars and snakes and quicksand."

"La la la. Still not listening!" Kuzco walked off into the jungle

"Fine! If there's no Kuzco, there's no Kuzcotopia. Takes care of my problem." Said Pacha talking to himself

I sighed knowing that I had to go into the jungle and save Kuzco's ass with the help of Pacha of course

"Listen, I know that Kuzco can be a bit of a…jerk." I began "But, it would be wrong of us to let him die in that jungle. Besides, if we go after him we have a chance at trying to change his mind about destroying your home."

Damn, do I have the best persuasion skills or what?

Pacha sighed and nodded his head. "Yeah, you're right. There's always some good in everyone. Let me just tell my wife that I'm leaving and then we will be on our way."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fifteen minutes later, Pacha and I were pushing our way through the jungle trying to locate Kuzco.

"So, how did you get engaged to Emperor Kuzco?" Pacha asked curiously.

Oh, crap! How was I supposed to answer that question? You see Pacha, I'm from the Real World, and you're not supposed to exist. Yeah, that will go over well. Not.

"I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time," I answered vaguely.

Suddenly, we heard screaming stopping our conversation short. Thank God.

"I think we just found Kuzco," I said before we both took off running toward the direction of the screams.

We stopped when we came to the edge of a cliff, from our spot we could see that Kuzco was cornered on another cliff by jaguars. I smirked to myself as a plan formed in my mind.

"Pacha! Follow my lead." I told him as I grabbed a long vine hanging from a tree. "Geronimo!" I called out as I leaped and swung toward Kuzco.

Oh, yeah! Tarzan would so be jealous of my swinging skills! The vine snapped. I fell and landed in Kuzco's lap. He smirked and winked at me. "I knew you couldn't resist me!"

"Shut up, Kuzco! Now is not the time!" I growled at him.

We both turned our attention back to the Jaguars, who were snarling at us. Wow. This is so much scarier in real life than it is on tv.

At that moment, Pacha comes swinging down on his own vine right toward the Jaguars.

"Yeah, that's right! I brought back up, so suck it!" I told the Jaguars as Pacha just swung right past us.

Well, this is not good. The Jaguars went back to snarling at us, not noticing that Pacha was swinging from behind. He grabbed both Kuzco and me right before the jaguars pounced, then somehow the vine gets wrapped around a large branch and the three of us were tied to a tree.

"Maybe I'm just new to the whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered a step backward, wouldn't you say? Said Kuzco sarcastically

"At least we're not being eaten by jaguars." I retorted

The branch begins to crack. "I hate you," Kuzco tells Pacha.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also posted on fanfiction. net under the same pen name.


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